Nü Mullet
The long and sorid story of the modern goatee. From its controversial origins in the test ranges of the Nevada desert in the 50’s to it’s rise as the mullet replacement.
Goatees can be broken into many subgroups such as:
<p>The Stoked</p> <p>The gig ll</p>
The conman – A liar. Everything this guy says is bullshit.
The manager – This is the guy most comfortable with his ‘business’ up front.
maverick – You just never know what this goatee is going to do. Most likely he’ll want bore you with his baseball stories.
stoked – His face is the place. Everywhere you go you greet everyone with ‘later dude’ growing on your face.
whispy widow – Your mom’s aunt is so down she doesn’t even know shes rock’n a goatee.
The broom – For the guy who focuses all of his masculinity and prowess on the hair on his chin instead of women.
big truck deluxe – big trucks for big fucks.
chin hint – For the guys who’ve ‘let it go’ and without this goatee we wouldn’t know where neck meets body.
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I realized the goatee was the nu-mullet one day about a year and a half ago when I was in a small town and I noticed that there was a dip behind every goatee. They all had that dopey look from having their lower lip pushed out by a big wad o’ chew. That’s when the light bulb went on. The goatee is just a face mullet. Glad to see I’m not the only one to figure it out. Great minds think alike.