Pack To The Future
Written by Amanada Wheeler
Scary things can tend to happen on a lunch hour. Long lines, credit cards declined, flies in the soup, hunger pains, stale bread…and hell, even stale jokes. But NOTHING could ever prepare me for what happened the other day at my favorite lunch spot. There I was, minding my own business, visualizing the delicious five-alarm chili that would soon be burning the inside lining of my stomach, when out of nowhere the woman in front of me reaches into her FANNY PACK to pull out her method of payment. At first I was convinced that Doc Brown had shoved me into the DeLorean and I was relieving my youth, but then I came to and remembered my favorite band was not Wilson Phillips, and that 90210 had since been cancelled. What the hell? Fanny pack? Is that really you?
The answer my friends, is yes. The fanny pack is back on the scene and it’s taking no prisoners (side note: ‘fanny’ is also a British slang term for girl parts, and by girl parts I mean vagina). Designer labels including Gucci, Fendi and Louis Vuitton have hopped on the fanny train and created several styles to store your precious valuables in at less than an arm’s length away. They do use code words like ‘waist pouch’, or ‘waist belt bag’ to trick you into believing that it’s not a recycled fad from the days of peg-legged jeans or hypercolor. The time of neon-colored belly bags are gone however, and have been replaced with black, neutrals, and of course designer logo patterns to give it a more highbrow feel. But, with a great status symbol also comes a great chunk of change, and the purchase of this trend will most likely require the use of your ‘has-been’ wallet. So just remember dear reader, whether you feel that ‘the pack’ is a fashion do or don’t, money will never go out of style.
