Bike Porn Is Not As Fun As Porn Porn

Portland /// Swan Lewis

A rainy October night in Cascadia is usually the perfect scenario to check out a local film in one of Portland’s many artistic theaters. Especially when you are rolling with your favorite female.

That is until you get there and the flic fucking sucks. Trying too hard, or maybe not trying at all, and who the fuck knows. Maybe I didn’t get the inside jokes that littered this ‘documentary’ on a very small aspect of biking culture in Portland. Or maybe I am not 16 years old anymore and the frat boy meets white trash humor saturated with PBR doesn’t get me off. Sitting in the crowd, I felt like myself and my friend were the only ones who weren’t part of the crew shown throughout the movie, which kind of made the experience even more annoying as the audience acted out each time they caught one of their homies on the big screen.

Well, that being said, there were a few laughs to be had. And a slight flicker of intelligent comedy in a coupe of the skits. And it was a local flic. And I now know what the fuck ‘Bike Exploitation’ is. And maybe it would be worth an afternoon to see these bastards out doing their stunts, if you happened upon it. I definitely would never ever, ever again pay six dollars plus to see any more. But if you are into whippits and/or Zoo Bomb or seriously think that PBR is a quality beer or maybe are just into it for the style, then for sure, check it out. And if you are into it, surf the net and contribute to ‘Bikexploitation III’.