The $ick. $timulus Package // Saturday April 18th

We’ve been watching the news (well kind of). Lately it’s been anything but good (especially that thing about the state taxing our weed supply). We suggest that you turn it off (the news that is), and let us $timulate you!!

1. Show up with 2 friends and get in for $10 total (that’s 3 for $10, rather than $5 each – what a deal!)

2. Order lots of top shelf drinks, making Jordan reach higher and higher to get a good view of his ass

3. Climb inside the money tube and grab as many (fake) dollars as you can (think price is right)

4. Order lots of well drinks, get really drunk, make out with someone atop the GOGO box.

5. Allow SENATOR ROBERT KENNEDY (mostly his real name), with his intern (i.e. gimp) & THEE CASUALTY CO. perform electro-shock therapy on you (on the gyno disko table no less)

… you’ll never feel better about life, we promise.

Come as you are, or come as a renegade IRS agent out for blood; a rich bitch who likes to wave money around; the mangled corpse of an overworked CPA; our dreamy president handing out refunds… anything having to do with money, really.

$5 OR 3 peoples for $10. The catch… YOU MUST HAVE THREE PEOPLE for the discount!! 21+ at the BRANX VAULT, 320 SE 2nd AVE, 10PM – close.