Can Cashing In Corporate Cascadia
Portland /// Swan Lewis
“Excuse me sir, did you have some deli food?”, said the blonde lady scoping me out for the last several minutes as I purchased a bottle of wine and a quarter pound of almonds in a recycled bag.
My spidey senses were definitely on to her, but I was too weeded and blamed it on paranoia to pay any attention. In fact, usually when I am on the prowl, I end up with some things a little more substantial than a slice of fucking over priced pizza. Whatever though, right?
However it was not really a ‘whatever’ moment. I was marked this time. I mean, I have walked out with anything from wine to hoodies to 12 packs of Pacifico (those big ass boxes) at various capitalistic enterprises throughout the middle 48. And you all know how it is done, the ins and outs on a similar style of creep. Well, my percentage rate, batting average if you will, is as high as most pure opiates. However there were some key, key, KEY differences upon a proper contemplative reflection.
My mistake number one when stealing from an out of town corporation was associating with a homeless man. Not just a quick ‘what up’ if you will. I changed cans for him in the back when he had too many. The smallish spot saw myself interacting with him for 20 minutes- conversating, laughing, and leaving the place with him. Apparently you cannot go over a ‘limit’ of can changing. He collected less than ten dollars with both of us cashing in.
Mistake number two was my attire. I hardly looked stylish and such with an old, oversized BLACK hoody on. This accompanied by other stereotypical wardrobe selections had me marked for closer observation. Profiling exists for a reason people, and well, if you look like a renegade, then they damn sure will treat you as one.
My obvious final mistake, and only real regret was not jacking food for the guy I met. I mean, for real, this man cashes in a whole load of cans for something like nine dollars. I am not even sure where to find that many cans. Christ Allah. And speaking of, the only thing to do next time is make sure I do take some for the people on the streets. Love.
